Cover Letter So Far….

Dear Portfolio Reader,

I am a student in Professor Lucenko’s class. I am a freshman at Stony Brook University majoring in Athletic Training. My major focuses on many aspects of science, such as chemistry, biology, and anatomy. It involves diagnosing a patient and being able to record your findings in a clear, coherent manner. Also, my major requires a research paper focusing on something in the science field at the end of my senior year. Taking Writing 102 has made me able to communicate and organize thoughts coherently and concisely, as well as support the claims I make with evidence from a specific text. I am now able to transition from one idea to the next without losing the flow of my essay, something I had trouble with prior to the class.  I have also learned how to use correct citations and correct quotations from the text. By taking a college-level writing class, I was able to enhance my skills as a writer, and by doing so I fulfilled the requirements of the portfolio.

My essays displayed my ability to coherently analyze the text of another author and utilize evidence from the text to support my analysis. In my textual analysis of Carl Sagan’s “Why We Need to Understand Science,” I was able to analyze his work, pick out the rhetorical devices he used, and explain the meanings behind his messages. For example, in my second paragraph, I explained how Sagan’s use of diction was critical to establishing his ethos. The connecting factor that an author has to his or her audience is essential to his or her credibility. Sagan put himself on the same level as his audience to convey a stronger, more believable message. I utilized Carl Sagan’s article as a way to support the claims I made. My textual analysis taught me how to closely analyze a piece, using evidence from the work to support your own claims.

My essays also showed my ability to coherently organize my thoughts, especially when dealing when more than one work. In my comparative analysis, I juxtapose Michelle Nijhuis’ “Conservation Triage” and T. DeLene Beeland’s “Saving Ethiopia’s ‘Church Forests.’” The compared the two essays in a point by point format that illustrated the similarities, while showing why each respective essay utilized the methods they did. For example, in paragraphs seven and eight of my essay, I explain how both essays make biblical references, but do so for different reasons and have much different effects on their piece as a whole. My comparative analysis taught me how to bring two pieces together and find support for both of them, while still relating back to my thesis.

My final essay was one of the most interesting for me write. For my researched argument, I was able to choose a topic I had a strong interest in and find more information on it. This made the research process much less tedious. This essay displayed my ability to construct an argument with a specific point of view and support that argument with evidence from credible sources. In my researched argument about the effect of technology on body image, I utilized evidence from scholarly journals, like publications by national organizations focused on body image and eating disorders. I utilized evidence from these authoritative and credible sources to support all the claims I made. I also was able to see both sides of the spectrum and provide counterarguments that were backed by evidence. My researched argument taught me how to perform research and find credible sources to utilize. I also learned how to support claims I make while staying true to my viewpoint.

Update on Research Paper

My essay is moving along well. I am focusing on adding more information to the claims within my argument, as well as trying to think of counterarguments to maybe address within my essay. The assignment in class was very useful in helping me realize what exactly I need to focus on to make my essay better. I was able to pick out little things that I wanted to add on, take out, or rephrase within my essay because it had been a few days since I looked at it. Also, the sheet with questions focused on specific parts of the essay helped me find what was missing and underlining my topic sentences and the evidence I provided was very helpful. I also liked talking about my ideas to another person because it allowed me to see what wasn’t so clear to another person. I am referring to the assignment sheet and peer review sheet in my revision process to help me make my arguments that much clearer. I am also utilizing the critique I received in order to help me through my revisions while trying to maintain my voice and my own argument. I have basically all of my research and at this point I am reorganizing and working on the structure of my essay to make it flow well.

Research So Far

So far my research is going much better than I expected that it would. There are many sources that I have found that are educational in explaining body image and the body image disorders associated with it, as well as many personal accounts and news articles about social media and technology and how body image is affected. I have discovered a ton of new facts that i wasn’t aware of before and was able to address most of the claims I had wanted to.

One of the main problems I’ve encountered is pulling my paper together and focusing on specifically one issue within body image. This is partially because I am interested in the issue, so I want to address many different areas and make many different points but they don’t necessarily go together. I have found many different personal accounts also and I find these interesting, but they don’t work with the claims i am trying to make, especially since I am focusing on technology and social media. Another problem I’ve had is finding counterarguments that act as such and not further claims that I am making.

I am happy with what I have so far because I feel it takes a different viewpoint of an issue that is relatively common in this age. I continue to find new information and think about more claims I can make and how I can support them. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find a few more sources that speak about the technology more to pull my paper together.

Annotated Bibliography Post

“Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA.” Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA. Anxiety and Depression Association of America, n.d. Web. 2 Apr. 2014.

This source is written by an organization called Anxiety and Depression Association of America. This group works towards educating the public about many different body image disorders that people face and struggle with every day and promoting the prevention and treatment of these disorders. Many of the journalists and researchers of this organization work at medical universities and institutions. This source speaks about body image disorders and eating disorders, such as body dysmorphic disorder, anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorders. It explains what body dysmorphic disorder, anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder actually are and some of the symptoms that people with the disorders experience. It also leads to other websites that explain more about the specific disorders and treatments.

This source will enhance my essay because it will help me provide information on the disorders and I am researching. The researchers and writers of this source are mainly scientists or people working in medical universities, hospitals, and institutes and are constantly researching these disorders and uncovering new information about them. Through this source, I will be able to explain the disorders more easily and some of the signs and symptoms of the disorder. This will offer insight to my audience who may not necessarily know what some of the disorders are and how severely they affect the lives of the people with them.  Utilizing a website meant to educate the public in order to promote prevention will allow me to provide concrete facts about the disorders and give insight to how someone with the disorder views themselves.

Research Proposal

 

Introduction: In an age where society harshly judges the way one presents him or her self, body image has become a major issue. This problem has been happening for several years, but as young people take more drastic measures to conform to societal expectations this issue stands out. This problem is especially evident within the younger generations, who are extremely susceptible to the need to look like society wants them to. Young people today are basing their appearance on magazine covers and what is believed to be “in” or popular. These images within magazines that many are trying to replicate are heavily photo shopped, fake, and nearly impossible to achieve. The need to reach “perfection” has added to many eating disorders, body image disorders, and self-esteem problems in young society. Is there a way to regulate pictures within magazines that are causing these issues without censuring? Can companies promote a “healthy, average” body without being ridiculed? The purpose I have for writing this paper is to address these questions, as well as illustrate the negative effects that societal expectations have had on the younger generation.

Rationale: As a member of the younger generation who has grown up surrounded by images of what society tells my generation what “attractive” is, I feel this issue is important to help discover solutions to create a society that promotes that the supermodel look is not what defines attractiveness and ways to make younger people to feel more confident in their own skin without feeling the need to take drastic measures to conform to societal standards. Many of my friends have body image and eating disorders; from body dysmorphic disorder to self esteem issues, I have heard stories and seen my friends suffer as they tried to change their body in order to fit into society. I am also guilty of this. When I was younger, I was not comfortable in my skin. Much of this was because I thought I was too big and I also had big, curly hair while all the models on magazine covers were thin, had straight hair, and long limbs. Thankfully, I never took any measures to really change my appearance and it took me years to realize that there was nothing wrong with me and that everyone is different. However, many of my friends have not reached this realization and continuously work to make their body “perfect,” sometimes taking unhealthy measures to do so.

Research Plan: I know a good amount about this issue already. I know about body and eating disorders, such as anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder, as well as many campaigns that are happening today in order to boost self esteem and self confidence within the younger generation. Through research, I hope to discover more body disorders and really be able to define what body image is and what influences it. Many companies today use models with similar body types and they are defining this as attractive to younger people. I want to target these companies and research more companies focusing at helping people achieve a positive body image and increasing self esteem besides Dove and Aerie. I also want to research how the image models for magazines have changed over the years to illustrate how society is setting impossible standards.

Implications: Body image has always and will always be an issue in society. No one will ever feel 100% comfortable within their skin, but as people mature they become more confident. Prepubescent people and teenagers look towards social media, role models, celebrities, and magazines to tell them what is popular and how to act. In an age where there are few good role models for teenagers and magazines are promoting one body type, problems are created. Over the years, social media has set unrealistic expectations for teenagers who want to mimic what they see in order to fit. This issue matters because promoting good self esteem and finding ways to create it can lead to more confident individuals. This new generation of role models could be positive leaders who do not feel the need to succumb to peer pressure because they are confident enough in themselves to not feel the need to fit in. I understand that body image will always be an issue among teenagers and young adults. Young people will always want to fit in and will give into peer pressure. However, creating a better image of what healthy is and how to achieve it can help improve the self esteem of young people and make confident leaders for the future.

Working Bibliography

“ANAD.” Eating Disorders Statistics « « National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. N.p., n.d. Web. 03 Apr. 2014. <http://www.anad.org/get-information/about-eating-disorders/eating-disorders-statistics/&gt;.

“Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA.” Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA. Anxiety and Depression Association of America, n.d. Web. 2 Apr. 2014. <http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd&gt;.

Jones, Lauren E., Ellen Buckner, and Renee Miller. “Chronological Progression of Body Dissatisfaction and Drive for Thinness In Females 12 to 17 Years of Age.” Pediatric Nursing Jan. 2014: n. pag. Academic Search Complete. Web. 2 Apr. 2014. <http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=2&sid=48a20d0a-d5a6-46da-9685-94cf707b6be0%40sessionmgr4003&hid=4101&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#db=rzh&AN=2012488966&gt;.

Rodgers, Rachel F., Stephanie Laconi, Eric Bui, Tiffiany Melioli, and Henri Chabrol. “Internet Addiction Symptoms, Disordered Eating, and Body Image Avoidance.” Academic Search Complete. EBSCO, Jan. 2013. Web. 2 Apr. 2014. <http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=2&sid=9c5421c3-4bb3-4cfd-8aec-8b297fe44ab8%40sessionmgr4003&hid=4101&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#db=bth&AN=84784604&gt;.

“The Dove® Campaign for Real Beauty.” The Dove® Campaign for Real Beauty. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Apr. 2014. <http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/campaign-for-real-beauty.aspx&gt;.

Pro/Con Exercise

My topic is about body image and the disorders associated with it. The question I will be using to guide my essay is how has society influenced body image?

Thesis: In a world filled with many different types of social media that influence what younger generations think and how they behave, actions need to be taken to remove the unrealistic expectations society sets and improve self esteem to help promote positive body image in younger generations.

 Claims:

1. People with a more positive body image tend to be more confident.

Evidence- I will need to prove this with statistics about depression and how people with depression view themselves.

1. The image of what is healthy has changed over the years to create an unrealistic expectation of what someone should look like.

Evidence- I will need to research the sizes and looks models have had in past decades and provide facts about photo shop and the extreme changes companies make to their models through it.

1. There has been a rise in body and eating disorders over the years due to a change in what is “beautiful.”

Evidence- I need to research statistics to prove a rise in eating and body disorders and speak about what the disorders are, why they occur, and the ages of the people who suffer them.

 Counterclaims:

1. These images are helping to promote a healthy society by providing people with in shape role models.

Evidence- I will need to research many companies who use models to represent their product and what these models look like before and after photo shop. Also research what kind of product they are selling.

2. Obesity is a problem in many societies around the world, so we should be promoting healthier images.

Evidence- I will need to research obesity and the statistics of it. Also, I need to include how many government officials are taking it upon them selves to reduce obesity, even if it may impinge on basic rights. For example, Mayor Bloomberg’s attempt to eradicate super sized soft drinks.

3. Body image disorders do not result from society. They could be linked to other mental illnesses and that is what makes a person feel the need to conform.

Evidence- I will need to research mental illnesses that affect body image.

Research Topics

Topic 1- Science of Exercise
• I want to research this topic because I have a strong interest in sports and my major involves sports, exercising properly, and rehabbing from an injury to return in top condition. Also, being an athlete all my life, I want to discover more behind exercise. I also want to include the psychological effects of exercise including the hormones released and body disorders. I want to include why people exercise and what pressures society puts on people that can actually endanger one’s health and self image. I want to speak about nutrition as well and maybe some misconceptions people have about exercising.
• I know about many body disorders that involve exercise and the dangers of exercising too much. I also know about many misconceptions people have.
• Through research, I need to discover more about the pressures society puts on people to exercise and discover what ages suffer the most because of this. I also need to discover how body image is affected by these pressures in a scientific way. I also wish to find out more information of the science behind exercise.
• People disagree with this issue because people think that exercise and dieting are extremely healthy, but many people follow this to an extreme which puts their life in danger. Many also just diet and exercise for certain seasons, and then they stop and eat terribly. I want to know if this method is actually healthy for people to do. It is because they believe they have to take things to an extreme, completely cutting off anything unhealthy that they go crazy when they stop.
• I want to reach people of all ages looking to find facts about the truth behind science and exercise. I want to prevent the misconceptions from spreading and help people gain awareness of the proper way to exercise and learn about many body disorders people suffer from today because of societal pressures. Readers should care about what I have to say because I am passionate about educating the public on this specific topic and I will be using scholarly research to back up my arguments.

Topic 2- Stress within the education system
• I want to research this topic because I am interested in how stress affects individuals at different age levels and discover how they respond to the stresses that education puts on them. I am interested in also speaking about the drugs that many students have started turning to in order to help focus and stay ahead in the modern dog eat dog society. Drugs like Adderall, Xanax, marijuana, and alcohol have all been linked to ways that students attempt to handle the stresses of the educational system.
• I know about the drugs that many students are turning to in order to stay on top. Many of my friends have turned to drugs in order to help manage stress and do their work in the short amount of time given for assignments. I also know about the stresses of the education system being that I am a student.
• I hope to discover more about what stress actually is and what exactly it does to the human body. I also want to find out more about what these drugs to that alter the state of mind and what chemicals can be found in them. I want to discover
how harmful they actually are.
• People disagree with this issue because in today’s society students need to be the best and people know drugs are illegal so the issue in itself is controversial. However, when a large number of students are turning to drugs to get through high school, I feel the issue should be further investigated.
• I want to reach people in school so that they have the facts about stress and what is going on in their body that makes them feel stressed. I also want to bring awareness to the drugs many students rely on to get work done to stay ahead. Also, maybe research ways in which stress can be reduced. Readers should care about what I say because I am a student who is experiencing the stress of the education system.

Monster and Marvels

One of the stereotypes in the exhibit was ‘The Temptress.’ This character was a woman with long black hair, a small waist, a revealing hole in her dress, slits up the side of her dress, and a more feminine face structure. She is also wearing red, which is traditionally known as a more seductive color. She is described as using her body to manipulate people and get her way. I don’t think that this particular stereotype exists today, but it is still found in modern times within videogames and some comic series. I believe that this stereotype does not just pertain to Asian culture and it is spread to many women, or it is expressed in media as being found in women of all races and ethnic backgrounds. The visual representation of the character displays exactly what a temptress is and shows the viewer that the temptress uses her body and femininity as a manipulation tool. Also, she looks powerful and independent, as supposed to the lotus blossom, who looks more subservient. She is an independent woman, who will get what she wants.

Another stereotype in the exhibit was ‘The Guru.’ The guru was presented as an older man with a cloak and long white beard. This stereotype is really often seen within Asian culture as the wise man who trains his younger students to find peace or turn them into a better warrior by providing them with certain skills. This stereotype still exists and is very often portrayed in society. References about Confucius are often made and many Asian video games and modern media utilize this figure. Many television shows and movies say that the student will not be ready until they can grasp a pebble from their master’s hand. This pertains to the guru idea. “The Karate Kid,” a film made in 1984 also utilized the idea of the guru. In this film, a young man was taught the art of karate by an older Asian janitor that worked at the apartment complexes, but he was taught the basic moves in the form of chores. The visual representation communicates what the guru looks like, although many already know because of popular media and comics.. This stereotype is very popular and many already envision him as an old man with the long white beard and cloak.

 

There are many stereotypes that exist within our culture today. Many are negative and many are what people perceive to be true because they do not know any better. There are stereotypes for every race, ethnicity, culture, gender, and generation. Some more offensive ones include Jewish people are rich, Asian people are good at math, Irish people are drunks, Italian people are associated with the mafia, men are strong and do all the work, and women are not good at sports. Although these stereotypes are not true, they exist and these one-dimensional characterizations are dangerous. They limit people from getting to know a person because they judge another based on a stereotype. There is a lot of ignorance in the world and many times stereotypes are unintentionally deciding factors for whether or not a person will fit in and be accepted. I have been perceived through stereotypes on numerous occasions. As an athlete, I have been judged to be not as good as the boys, even if I was because of my gender. I had to work that much harder in sports to really gain respect from the opposite gender and prove that I did have skill and talent. Also, having a Jewish last name I was always perceived as being Jewish. These stereotypes stood me a apart from my classmates who were predominantly Christian. Although I am not Jewish, my last name spoke for me and I have heard every Jewish stereotype in the book because that’s how I am perceived until I correct people.

Drafting of Comparative Analysis

I am going to look at Beeland’s “Saving Ethiopia’s ‘Church Forests'” and Nijhuis’ Conservation Triage side by side. Both of these articles offer similar messages, but deliver each differently. They both are an attempt to persuade the reader to conserve the environment in any method they can and to also pay attention to the world around them.

Comparisons:

1. Both use a biblical metaphor- Beeland uses the Garden of Eden, Nijhuis uses Noah’s Ark

2. Both focus on conservation

3. Both appeal to ethos. Beeland refers to researchers and conservationists and Nijhuis refers to conservation laws, as well as environmentalists.

Differences:

1. Beeland’s article is focused on Ethiopia while Nijhuis’ article does not focus on one particular area.

2. Beeland’s article plays with irony. while Nijhuis uses humor and addresses the reader by making them make decisions.

3. They both introduce their topics differently. Nijhuis makes the reader make a decision, while Beeland refers to tradition and religion. Both are meant to develop a sense of understanding in the reader.

Comparative Analysis

Scientific America’s blog post entitled, “Man discovers a new life-form at a South African truck stop,” by Rob Dunn speaks about a new species that recently discovered. The article begins with establishing ethos to gain some credibility since this is a blog post. He speaks about German biologist Oliver Zompro who has an impressive resume. He found his first species at age twenty and and by the time he was thirty he had named many more. He has made it his goal to study the world and discover all the hidden species that are still out there to be found. The appeal to ethos in the beginning helps make the reader aware that this post is much more than just something on a blog, but is actually factual. This helps with the context of the article and by providing background about Zompro’s studies and his adventures in Africa, the reader is able to see how important this finding is.  By making the struggle to find this insect appear difficult, Dunn also appeals to pathos, giving the reader a feeling of hope and adventure, as though he or she is on the trip with Zompro. While the discovery by a man at a truck stop of a species, Mantaphasmatodes, that has never been discovered before is remarkable, Dunn’s purpose in the article is not to just speak about that. His purpose is to stress to the reader the importance of paying attention to his or her surroundings, no matter where they are, because with observation comes the discovery of new things.

Plos blog also published a post related to the conservation and discovery of new species. This article, by T. DeLane Beeland, entitled “Saving Ethiopia’s ‘Church Forests'” is about the struggle to maintain the environment based on tradition and conservation in Ethiopia. This article speaks about how the forests are viewed as holy and the people who live among them view them as a “home for all of God’s creatures.” This viewpoint has made the coptic forests spiritually protected. This article begins with explaining the forest’s spiritual significance for the reader, appealing to pathos to make the reader relate through a sense of faith. This sense of faith connects the reader to the people living among the forests and makes the reader more able to understand the importance of the forest not only for the environment, but also for the people, who view the woods as “church forests.” Beeland then appeals to ethos by explaining the significance of the article through the eyes of Alemayehu Wassie Eshete, an Ethiopian forest researcher with a PhD in his country’s coptic forests. By using a credible source who is very knowledgeable and works with the country to educate the younger generation Beeland proves to the reader that her post has a great amount of significance, especially when speaking of preserving the forest that many use as a spiritual awakening.

Both posts act as attempts to persuade the reader to pay attention to the surroundings and protect them because everything one encounters has worth. Both posts, published in blogs utilize ethos to establish a sense of credibility so that the reader will trust what the author is saying. Credibility is completely necessary in the cases of both these blogs because a reader is aware that not everything on the internet is true, especially when dealing with sources where one doesn’t know who exactly the author is. Also, by backing up their points with knowledgeable people, both Beeland and Dunn are able to be trusted. Both blog posts make slight appeals to pathos to generate a response from the reader. The fact that both speak of the new discoveries within and the conservation of the environment relates to the reader and encourages them to help preserve their planet. By utilizing species that are relatively new to society, like the dung beetle that are specific to human feces and the Mantaphasmatodes, the authors show the reader that protection of the environment is necessary because there are still so many things left undiscovered. Both authors utilize different methods to grab the reader’s attention and relate to them to convince him or her to pay attention to the world. In an age where the environment is getting destroyed on a daily basis, it is important to show people that we need to protect it because there is still so much that is undiscovered.